Over the past 6 months I have been seeing a therapist, trying to figure out my life- trying to see where I am going, figure out what I need to do in life to get happy again.

I’ve suffered from depression all my life. Through the teen years, it was terrible, and I luckily never successfully took my life. I dabbled in drugs, drinking and unprotected sex. I didn’t have any self respect and was constantly in some sort of trouble with my parents. 

Fast forward 10 years and here I am with a kid, as a result to unprotected sex and not the best outlook on life, I have changed immensely. But, not all for the better. I have suppressed my feelings, I have put my son and his father before myself- as I always have done when I dated someone. And now, I’m ready to take my life back. I want to be happy and and show my son what a happy mother looks like, someone who takes care of herself and is strong. Someone who he can look up to and not see as a pushover. 

So here I am, using this outlet to hopefully gain support. If you look back at my previous posts, it’s mostly about me and my son, his father makes small appearances, but not much- because he has other priorities and I don’t know if I love him anymore.