The title might sound a little harsh…but what I really mean is that I am not going to just be only a MOM. I mean, ONLY… only a mom?! A mom does sooooo much, but I want my existence to be more than just a mom. I want to find my passions again. I lost them going into adulthood. I thought I didn’t need certain things, when those things defined me. Like art, I used to paint, and draw and sketch and I would get so wrapped up in my art and it would let me release the pain and anger I felt. I am going to get back into that. I have already taken the first step of buying a sketchbook and pencils. I am so excited! It is just about making time! TIME TIME TIME TIME, it gets sucked up in so many ways. But the key is to make some time for yourself. And I am going to get healthy again, I know I say this every few months in a post, but I feel like my little nugget can finally be okay when I am not around. I mean, its taken a while for him to be okay with me leaving and doing something for a little bit. The first year, it was so hard to get any time to myself, he did great with my mom, but for some reason, just couldn’t warm up to many other people. Now, he is doing great, and his confidence is higher than ever. And I want to keep it like that.

I know, that in order to be a good momma, I HAVE to work on myself. I have to be happy enough to stand in front of my family and not just fall back on them and think, I have them, I am fine. But there is so much more to a person than their family. Of course, it is a HUGE part of yourself, I am not giving that up. I am simply finding my passions and hobbies so I can contribute even more. His father has fishing and surfing. Those are his passions, and he is so passionate about it, you can feel it oozing out of his skin. I want that, I want something to be so proud of and speak so highly of. Often times, as we grow up, we lose sight of what we used to love to do, because life gets in the way. Well, I am taking it back. I am going to grow. And this is my year to do it.

I also need to realize, as well as you, dear reader, we are all human, and as much as I say, I may only get 10% of what I want actually done. But it is the effort, and if I put in the effort, that says something, right? If I just talk and talk and never do anything, then we have a problem. But for now, putting these thoughts into words..blogging and writing, always a passion of mine. And I am so happy I found this place to spill my ramblings. So, thank you to the readers who read my random thoughts, and who don’t judge me when I don’t have time to go back and read what I wrote. Sometimes, I feel like I just threw up on the page and post it, because who has time to re-read what you wrote to make sure it makes sense? Not this momma…