How does one go from thinking about “me” to “we”?
And I don’t mean with my child… Because he comes first no matter what, no questions asked, he is my one and only reason for living and doing well in life. Now is that bad to say when I am not a single mom? I have been with the father of my child for over a year, but still to this day I do not go to him when I am sad or need advice, or when I am going to make a big important decision. I go to my parents. Does that mean I don’t place all my trust in this guy? Possibly… There are things I would like to change about our relationship and make better… he comes from a different life than I do. And he is used to struggle, almost content with it. I, on the other hand, am not used to financial struggle, not that my parents are wealthy by any means. And I was not raised a spoiled brat, I did have advantages in my youth but I worked hard too. I got a job at 15, the reason for it: so I could go study abroad in London during the summer. I made a deal with my parents to keep my grades up, get a job, save that money and use it when I got to London. Fair deal, right? There was no way I could finance my whole trip, but that was my mindset. I hoped to make so much money that I could shop wherever I wanted and get all the presents I wanted without having to worry. And I did just that. Ever since then, I have always had a job, always paid for my own things and relied little (financially) on anyone else. I have never took money for granted (my parents taught me the value of a dollar well, I’d like to think), I didn’t live paycheck to paycheck, I saved and saved and saved and spent frugally and made sure to always have a savings… And that has really saved me.
So tell me why I became attracted to a guy who for 1. Doesn’t believe in “banking” 2. Can’t save money to save his life 3. Has so much life experience but no education. ???? Why did this happen?
Is it that scenario where girls just want to fix the guy? They see someone broken and think “oh, it’s a project!! I can totally fix him and turn him around?” It could be, but those words never run through my mind. But looking back at my track record, that is kind of what I go for, guys who need fixing, and when I can’t fix them, I revert to their tendencies and then get lost. And when that relationship is over, I must re-find myself and start over.
So to sum up this post… I am one of those girls that tries to fix people. But not anymore! I am focusing on me and my son and making sure he has a bright future! I am not going to back down, no one can tell me NO! He is my life and I will make sure he never has to worry about food or shelter or not have presents under the Christmas tree or a birthday party! I will give everything to him (within reason, I am not going to raise a brat 😉) I will make sure he has a great life, because that is what he deserves!
So ladies and gentlemen, if this post calls out to you and you see yourself doing these things… And you want to change or do something different, please do it! Don’t be afraid because of someone else’s actions! And comment on your own success stories! I would love to hear them!